Finally, after a lifetime left wanting, having fallen from the fugly tree as a bairn, there is, for the second year in succession: hope.

Gone are the days when chiselled torsos and boyish good looks were in vogue (see Nick Kaymen or Peter of the Andre) to be replaced by the year's sexiest man, once more being announced as, er, Jeremy Clarkson.

The award comes from ‘research’ undertaken by the dating site Illicit Encounters from a sample group of 2,000 people which classed Clarkson as a ‘nine out of 10’ although it is unclear as to whether the respondents were visually impaired or not.

I would surmise it is a site used for those who are looking for a bit of fun (ie to cheat on their partners) and therefore Clarkson is deemed to be in pole position to make Mrs Miggins from down yonder risk the marital home, the children’s stability, the 4x4 and her reputation with a man who is ‘marmite’ and has the body of a worn out Citroen 2CV.

Brett Ellis is reassured by Jeremy Clarkson winning sexiest man of the yearBrett Ellis is reassured by Jeremy Clarkson winning sexiest man of the year

He also, famously, says lots of ‘blokey’ things, all with a touch of machismo innuendo and a braying turn of phrase.

Further research uncovers the Illicit Encounters research method of supplying 50 names to the market researchers from which a winner must be chosen, this puts a whole new complexion on Clarkson winning the award.

Whatever next year? John Merrick, the bearded woman from The Greatest Showman and Rocky from Mask as the contenders? Even I would stand a chance with that lot.

Relationship expert, Noor Hibbert, attempts to justify Clarkson’s finishing position by explaining, “Jeremy exudes a keen sense of self-confidence and self-assuredness, which can be highly appealing to many women.

“His confidence can create a level of attractiveness and draw people toward him.”

Another factor, surely, must be the net worth of the individual.

Clarkson has amassed around £43m and I’m sure if he was a celebrity of a different ilk, a Gogglebox ‘star’ instead perhaps, then his allure would be nowhere as appealing as the farmer who, unlike many, can afford to buy a new combine harvester or a pub on a whim if he so wishes.

Either way, he got the gong and may be back for the most undeserved and curious hat trick of the decade next season.

As for me, I don’t do sexy anymore (as if I ever have), but I may really let myself go and talk about cars a lot in a brash and unpleasant manner to attract the attention of others to see if the Clarkson approach is really about the attractiveness of the man, or the size of his wallet!

  • Brett Ellis is a teacher.