I have often thought how I would do a Lou Reed and spend a perfect day.

Today however has been the polar opposite of Mr Reed’s vision, an imperfect day if you will, as I watched it slide away…

I, like every other homosapien it seems, am an Oasis fan. Now, I’m not - like many who gleefully and smugly snagged tickets (do you sense a hint of middle-aged bitterness?) a Johnny-come-lately: I have completed the full house of seeing Oasis back in the 90s and Noel and Liam separately in recent years.

So on August 31, I, fully aware that the websites would be ‘a tad’ busy, logged on to four devices to ensure I bagged a pair of tickets for me and the wife. The day started at 8am and, even then, despite the tickets not going on sale for another hour, the gigs and tour websites had crashed, never to return, even after I logged off some seven hours later.

Brett Ellis spent seven hours online trying to get tickets for OasisBrett Ellis spent seven hours online trying to get tickets for Oasis

Finding myself in the queue for Ticketmaster on two separate devices, I sat, gently touching the touchpad to ensure the screen didn’t go stealth intermittently, as I genuinely felt like Jean Michelle Jarre in his brief, yet profitable, heyday, as I did little yet expected to reap the reward.

It turns out the queue I was in was merely the queue for the queue and, finding myself 147,000th in line I cried a little and made myself yet another cup of tea.

Two hours later I was smoking, down to 130,000th in line as I took a one-hour detour by driving to Cheshunt and back and then, at 3pm, I finally reached the hallowed grounds.

Eventually, the only option was a dastardly Ticketmaster Dick Turpin move which was ‘housery’ at its finest: Standing tickets which were £150 earlier in the day and in the previous day's pre-sale were ‘in demand’. Standing tickets, standing in exactly the same place as the £150 ones, were now a jaw-dropping £350 (plus booking fee).

I did put them in the basket and was given 90 seconds to complete my purchase with their new ‘dynamic’ pricing method, but I couldn’t justify the purchase.

So yes, I’ve had better days, although my pain was compounded by finding out that my daughter’s friend who ‘likes Wonderwall’ had bagged a pair for Wembley before Ticketmaster arguably breached the 2008 unfair trading regulations

Am I bitter? You betcha! Am I happy for those who got tickets? Honestly no, and I know that makes me a bad man, but sometimes you just want the cards to fall in your favour and not be left half a world away, don’t you?

  • Brett Ellis is a teacher.