Now I am aware that us middle-aged fuddy-duddies complain about this annually, but looking back over summer, this year I really as in really, really mean it - the 2024 Glastonbury line-up was the weakest in the history of the festival.

The first festival took place in 1970 (the day after Hendrix died, strangely enough) with the admission price of £1 which included free camping and, er, milk.

Realising he was onto a good thing, Eavis has turned the festival, first attended by 1,500 people and headlined by Mark Bolan and T-Rex, into a global phenomenon, albeit with some dodgy politics thrown into the mix.

By 1971 they had Bowie on stage and by ‘94, Oasis, Blur, Pulp and Radiohead all trod the boards as the festival truly cemented its place as the working-class rockfest of choice.

They have in recent years, moved away from their core rock/ blues origins to become a middle-class camping expedition with the bottom line as its main driver, as they charge entitled kids through the nose to watch acts such as Stormzy and Billie Eilish who, despite their relative merits, are not Glastonbury style fodder.

Brett Ellis says that the Glastonbury Festival has moved away from its core rock/blues originsBrett Ellis says that the Glastonbury Festival has moved away from its core rock/blues origins

This year however, a watershed was reached with a line-up that would struggle to make it out of non-league into league two. The three-night headliners include Dua Lipa, Coldplay (for a record-breaking fifth time) and, er, SZA (no…, me neither).

With weekend tickets costing an eye-watering £360 just to get through the Fort Knox-style security cordon, you will be met with over 300 food vendors and 100 bars.

The prices for basic fast foods are outrageous and not in keeping with the hippie spirit so often extolled by the organisers: Fries are between £4 and £ 7 for a few lukewarm chips, nachos are £9 and toasties, £8.50-£11 a hit.

As an interested observer, those who went no doubt fell hook line and sinker into the positive reiteration camp on their return as they save face by admitting against evidence how it was the greatest lineup and event ever.

They then no doubt proceeded to contact their bank on the Monday to arrange a loan to offset their falling into overdraft having done over a grand to watch some second-rate acts, as they got fiscally beaten up in a field down south before having their tent nicked and waking up as they are used as an open-air urinal by some drug crazed lunatic from the Wirral.

No, I’m glad to have watched it from afar, and I did enjoy the smaller acts as I sipped on a beer from the comfort of my own sofa before taking once more to social media to ask who or what on earth is SZA…?

  • Brett Ellis is a teacher.