Sitting atop a trailer on the back of an HGV, we did all we could on the ‘Mr Men’ float to avoid serious eye injury as the carnival crowds did what we had in previous years and aimed a two-pence piece to the face.

Thankfully, due to my slight frame and plotting down behind Mr Bump, I avoided coming a cropper as normal service resumed the next year with the carnival Queen becoming, for the kids of Hastings, coin target numero uno.

Thankfully, times have changed, and I was bemused as to what the modern-day carnival was like as we made our way down the steep steps in the West Hill toward Hastings seafront on a glorious summer’s day by the coast recently.

Expecting huge crowds, it was a shock to see the event sparsely populated. In previous years, when the route was five times bigger, you literally couldn’t move as the whole town came out to be entertained and make some money for the mysterious Rotary Club. But now, with a seriously shortened route along a short section of the seafront and back again, the gloss had gone and the stayaway locals knew it.

Brett Ellis went to see the carnival in Hastings during the summerBrett Ellis went to see the carnival in Hastings during the summer The mainstays were still there. There is a carnival Queen, but she is made to walk in the blistering heat with the only sign that she was on the throne being a sash around her midriff. Two majorette troupes were giving it their all, but, for a cynic like me, one would have been enough as once you’ve seen one person throw a baton in t’air, you’ve seen them all…

One float said ‘Wildlife Herpes’ on the side and, believing those on board must be stricken from the illness, I was glad to see the ‘p’ was actually an ‘o’ despite still not having a clue as to how or why they were ‘heroes’ which is usually only a self-proclamation bestowed by NHS staff.

Throughout, it became apparent just why, despite their best efforts, the carnival was now dying - there were no card machines, and no one was carrying cash, severely denting the donations total and thus making it unviable for the years to come.

 This was not helped by there being nowhere to park and if you could find a space, paying a huge amount for the privilege of seeing a handful of trucks and a small band of hardy locals attempting to breathe life into the concept which is sadly now on life support was hard to justify.

But still, despite the overarching disappointment (for the adults as well as the kids), you can’t criticise them for trying to keep the tradition ‘afloat’ (sorry) and, thankfully, the carnival Queen didn’t end up at Moorfield Eye Hospital after taking a 50 pence piece to the cornea!

  • Brett Ellis is a teacher.