I don't think anybody was expecting much more than a stroll in the park for Manchester United when they came down to east London for their Christmas break at the weekend.
Things began a little slowly, as the team overslept for 45 minutes. But Paul Scholes was bright-eyed and bang on his game to ensure the rest of the day ran seamlessly.
In fact, the rest of the team all came to the party in the end, with Ryan Giggs the life and soul. Young Darron Gibson made his presence felt among the big boys, while some of the more glittering stars on view also began to shine as the evening wore on, Wayne Rooney and Antonio Valencia in particular both showing their somewhat dreary, docile hosts how to enjoy themselves.
After a pleasant weekend trip, Sir Alex Ferguson and his merry bunch of men had all but forgotten the absence of some of the main partygoers, including Rio Ferdinand, Nemanja Vidic, John O'Shea, and Johnny Evans, while some, like Wes Brown and Gary Neville had to leave midway through the fun. No matter, Michael Carrick and Giggs more than made up for their early departures, filling in at a moment's notice.
For the champions, then, a well-earned relaxing weekend. They travelled back up north feeling refreshed and invigorated.
The same cannot be said for their hosts, however, who were left to clear up the mess United left behind.
For West Ham, it wasn't so much of a party, but one of those evenings that you are often dragged to by your other half. She promises, 'we'll only show our faces and stay for an hour', but that soon turns in to a test of endurance as you are forced to make small-talk with people you don't know and are made to feel like the black sheep. 'You don't belong here', you hear people think.
And that was certainly the case for the Hammers last Saturday. They didn't belong there. Yes, they were playing in their own back yard, but it was a stage commanded by their illustrious guests, despite a multitude of big-name absentees.
When the teamsheets were passed around before kick-off, everyone was thinking the same thing; maybe West Ham do have a chance. A back four of Darren Fletcher, Gary Neville, Wes Brown and Patrice Evra is not going to strike fear into the hearts of many opponents. And when Neville was replaced midway through the first half by Carrick at the back after being taken off with an injury, Gianfranco Zola must have thought Christmas had come early. Yes, they were without their attacking fulcrum, Carlton Cole, but the impressive Guillermo Franco, Zavon Hines, Junior Stanislas and Jack Collison must surely be able to cause this mish-mash of defenders all sorts of problems?
However, such optimistic thoughts were soon proven to be little more than fantasy. Even with Hines on the field, West Ham were toothless. When he was replaced by Alessandro Diamanti, having suffered an injury to his knee, the side looked ever so slightly more dangerous. But that was only after they had fallen four goals behind and Brown had been substituted with another injury, leaving Giggs to fill in at left-back and Evra to partner Carrick in the centre.
It is a sad indictment of where the Hammers find themselves. Shorn of the services of their two most influential players – Cole and defender Matthew Upson – they were nothing more than cannon fodder.
With Robert Green between the sticks, Upson chief steward at the back, Scott Parker the midfield sentinel and Cole the attacking spearhead, West Ham have a powerful spine they can build around to cause problems going forward and remain steadfast in defence. Take out one, or even two, and the whole structure falls apart.
That is the harsh truth staring Zola in the face. The Italian, to his credit, has put his faith in a number of graduates from the Academy of Football, namely Collison, Hines, Stanislas, Tomkins and Noble. But now he should see that these youngsters are being asked to fight a war without the right preparation and correct equipment. Sound familiar?
Hines and Stanislas are raw at best. Sure, they may well come good, but they were comfortably dealt with by United's makeshift backline, and rarely look to threaten other Premier League defences. After a promising breathrough season last year, Collison appears to have slowed in his development. Tomkins, naturally, is still prone to the odd defensive lapse, and even Zola appears to have lost faith in Noble, who has had to settle for a place on the bench in recent weeks, after a number of ineffective displays.
The equation is simple. If Cole and Upson stay fit once they have recovered from their respective injuries – and are not sold in the January transfer market – West Ham stay up and live to fight another day. If they don't, one fears for Zola and his players. At present, the ship is leaking water by the gallon and its ammunition has run out as the enemy close in. The question is, will the reinforcements arrive in time?
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