Watch England play? I'd rather go to the cinema

Is it just me, or is there now a unanimous feeling of apathy towards the national football team after that which must not be named took place in South Africa this summer?

I mean, seriously, how on earth did a match with Montenegro attract 73,000 people? If you had paid me £30 I wouldn't have bothered turning up to watch that dross.

And for those that were deluded enough to cough up for a ticket expecting a thumping victory soon found themselves, predictably, booing and jeering the team off at half-time.

No, I'm afraid it's going to take a damn sight more than beating Switzerland and Hungary to get me anywhere near Wembley.

I, along with many England fans, still feel cheated and robbed by the series of abject, pathetic and brainless performances at the World Cu – sorry, I almost said it then.

I used to be an avid follower of England games, whether at the business end of a tournament or during the more routine qualifying stages.

But now I find that I really just don't care.

I almost forgot we were due to play on Tuesday night, and when I remembered, I still arranged to go to the cinema for some real entertainment (I can, as a result, recommend Ben Affleck's new flick, The Town).

I managed to catch most of the first half, but it was depressingly dreary, further vindicating my decision to leave for alternative forms of enjoyment.

On my way home I thought to check how England had got on and, sure enough, words such as 'frustrated' and 'tedious' appeared on my mobile screen before I had even found where it said we had been held to a goalless draw by a team ranked lower in the FIFA rankings that the mighty Burkina Faso and Gabon.

It has gotten to the point now that I actually dread what has been aptly termed in some quarters as the Interlull. It is exactly that; a lull that punctuates the otherwise high-octane action of the Premier League. And, now that is over, I can once again lift myself from my state of boredom and look forward to some football that actually matters.

Perhaps I'm over-exaggerating slightly. This is, after all, our national team. We should all be trying to get behind them in their time of need to inspire them to greatness. After all, 73,000 tried on Tuesday. But then look where that got them.

So what would it take, then, for me to return to giving a hoot about England? Here are my requirements:

1)Fabio Capello to be removed with immediate effect as manager.

2)The 4-4-2 formation to be finally ditched from the training book, never to be seen again.

3)Gareth Barry to be permanently removed from international duty.

4)Jack Wilshere to be given a chance in midfield.

5)Joleon Lescott to be permanently removed from international duty.

Those five things, among others, are what it would take to rekindle some form of passing interest in our national team again. As you can see, I'm not holding my breath. Until such time as those changes are made, I shall continue to opt for the cinema. I hear there's a really good film out on November 17. I'm not sure what it is yet, but it won't be called England v France.

Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here